Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Pranks

Pranks are a great time. I love em. Here are a list of some pranks I've pulled in the past. Feel free to do any of these, and share some of yours, I need new ideas.

1-Catch a duck, put it in-between someone's front door and glass door, and wait for them to hear the commotion and open the door. That duck is gonna wreak havoc!
2-too hard to explain. just watch the video
3-The wooden spoon prank in another classic, this one will involve an accomplice.
4-Lure someone out of their house, into an open space (maybe with some signs or bread crumbs), then you and a few buddies (hiding) come out and blast them with flour "bombs" (from experience, this is most effective when they get hit in the face)
5-Plastic wrap on the toilet seat (good in theory, but hasn't proven to be super effective yet.)
6-*DISCLAIMER* This one is kinda mean, but could be funny if pulled on the right person. Fill up their car vents with flour (or anything else that can be blown around in the wind) turn up their AC all the way, then wait for them to start their car
7-Hide in a garbage can and scare the crap out of someone...careful its not a black dude.

I think that is good enough for now. Please post more ideas in the comments. Youtube's pranks seem pretty repetitive. I need fresh ideas! Now I gotta go have my bowl, gotta have cereal. peace.

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated

Lyrics to this title provided by the one and only, Avril Lavigne. (Not that I really like her, just seems like a fitting title)

So life is complicated. Balancing school, work, religion, friends, relationships etc. There is a lot on the plate of a college student and it doesn't seem like it gets less complicated as life goes on. Today the complications I'm talking about are relationships. Vince Vaughn knows all too well the complications of relationships and dating. Now first, my disclaimer is that I have never actually been in an exclusive relationship with any one girl. However, recently there was a girl that seemed like she was worth the extra effort to try and date exclusively.

Now obviously this girl wasn't a run-of-the mill girl and for that I was more than just interested. We started talking, hung out a few times, went on a few dates, all the while I was thinking she wasn't that into me and we were basically just friends. (who hooked up every now and again) Little did I know she really was more into me than I thought.

One day she calls me up to get ice cream. (out of the ordinary for her, she's a bit of a texter.) Well we go to get some ice cream, and by this time I'm feeling like its time to tell her the timing isn't right, I'm not feeling it and I don't think she is either; this ice cream time will be the perfect opportunity. Well she comes at me with the "steve, the way you act is too confusing, I can't get a read on you and that scares me. I like you but can never tell what you think, so I think we need to stay just friends." Even tho this is the end result I was expecting, it threw me for a loop. Looking back I can see how I didn't show much interest and confused her. Guys: here is a list of "don'ts" for you next time you are trying to play it cool with a girl.

1-Don't play too hard to get.
2-Don't make the only date you ask her on to be watching your nephew on valentine's day
3-Don't let her make the first move on asking you out
4-Don't sell yourself short, if she has hung around for more than a week after your first "date"... there's something there.
5-Don't let her ask you out on more dates than you've asked her out on

Hope this is helpful fellas; don't over complicate things, if you like her, let her know! As for me, I'm still in the game, kinda on an "E streak" right now if you've ever read my buddies blog. Haven't found another that I've decided to take to the next level, but the game is fun!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Run-ins...

If you know me, you know I'm not scared to speak my mind. Recently I have gotten in a few "run-ins" as a result. So this story I will tell like Dane Cook's "At the Wall" In other words, let's Tarantino this...start with the ending and figure out why it happened. Let's begin this journey.

So a little history first, Elenor (not her real name but it will do for now) is infamous in the school of business as SUU for kissing up to professor, making irrelevant comments during class, making her opinion known regardless of time constraints, and without considering the fact no one else cares even a little bit. This semester I have had the misfortune of having a class with her again, a class which is based on class discussion. We had a little run in earlier this year when she tried to rip on Utah for having the culture of getting married and starting a family young. I promptly told her that if she has a problem with Utah and it's culture, she doesn't have to live here. (Remember that last piece of information, it will be key later in my story.)

Ok so now that you have a little history here goes...a couple weeks ago I had a run-in with her. It ended with the phrase "you a#$hole, wanna take this outside!?!" Now, let's go back. Figure it out.

We were starting class on a random tangent. Our MANAGEMENT teacher, started talking about the business school's secretary dilation (the secretary is pregnant and apparently a good friend of the teacher, looks like she is about to pop). Well because those things gross me out, I interjected by saying "I'm not really comfortable talking about that, it grosses me out." And the professor, a classy guy, says "fair enough...onto the lecture" At this point I'm relieved. I don't have to hear about female anatomy anymore, or try and figure out how I will ever look the secretary in the eye again after hearing that stuff. Well just as I'm about to relax, Elenor turns around (like a true brown-noser she sits front and center) and says "I thought you were all gun-ho about getting married and having kids." At first I thought "is this her feeble attempt to save face due to the last burning I gave her?" I figured it was, so without thinking I come back with "Elenor, I don't know why you talk to me, you never have anything intelligent to say to me." Now she's pissed.

"You a#$hole! Wanna take this outside!?!" Is all she could muster, first I thought "is she really challenging me to a fight? Does she realize how insane and red-neck she sounds? What kind of jackass would fight a girl? My only response however was "that makes no sense, why would I ever fight a girl? Grow up Elenor." As anyone knows, being told "grow up" doesn't sit well with anyone, and Elenor was no exception. She packed up her bags and stormed out of the class. (keep in mind this all happened in the first 4 minutes of class)

As I watched her storm off like a 2-year old, my only thought was "wow, Walter Cannon was right, all she wanted to do was fight, then flight. Gotta be a red-neck" Next step, figure out how to finish out the semester without her coming at me swinging.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

ready...BREAK!


As many of you know, spring break is a time to cut loose, get away from school, and enjoy life somewhere warm. (California, Vegas, Arizona, etc.) Cedar city-ites especially enjoy the warm part. Well during spring break the normal rules of life might not apply. Rules such as the social hierarchy of dating, go to bed on time, brush your teeth, floss, you get the idea.

Well over this past spring break, and others in the past I have developed, with the help of a few friends, a spring break list of rules. If you have ever had a spring break, you know this list will be short.

Rule #1- Remember your toothbrush. If you forget it, you'll regret it.
Rule #2- Make sure you have a wingman, he will be essential.
Rule #3- Jazz games are always better when you and your buddies make the jumbotron.
Rule #4- Wear high tops if you are going to play tip-in in the backyard.
Rule #5- It's ok to settle, as long as it's only once. Just know the silent cowboy will still be disappointed in you
Rule #6- Longboards make the trip better
Rule #7- Make sure if you are driving for a while, you have a good selection of music
Rule #8- Make your own fun, don't worry too much about consequences
Rule #9- Crazy stories last forever, and turn into memories.You'll never remember what is cost.
Rule #10- If it's your birthday during spring break, make sure people know, they will buy you stuff and give you permanent shotgun.

So there you have it, the rules of spring break, if you have rules that you wanna add let me know.