don't hate, celebrate

I'm sitting in the "kilpacondo" right now and the discussion came up that Thanksgiving get's the shaft when is comes to holidays. Which in some respects is true. However, Thanksgiving gets more attention now than it ever has. Just take a look at Facebook, twitter, instagram etc. #nothingbutthankfulnovember. Thanksgiving gets tons of props. Football games are excellent that day. It's a time that everyone makes sure they get home for the family.

The point of this post isn't that Thanksgiving isn't getting overlooked, the reason I am posting this is because Christmas, as it should, gets MOST of the attention during November. Too often people hate on the early recognition of Christmas. Especially putting up lights early and Christmas music on the radio. This absolutely should happen. Christmas is the greatest time of year. Kids look forward to Christmas all year. They wish everyday was Christmas. Adults become less selfish and think of ways to show their love to loved ones. Christmas season brings thoughts of charity, an increase in kindness, bonuses at work, a break from school, snowsports, snowmen, ugly sweaters, awesome decorations, Christmas parties, timeless movies, easy-to-plan-dates, and unbelievable sales on EVERYTHING.

To me, these things sound pretty great. I'm perfectly ok with the best season of the year being extended an extra month. 25 days isn't enough to enjoy all of it's awesome-ness. So for all the haters of Christmas music in November, and the lights at temple square up well before December, here is a solution: relax. Enjoy the spirit that this awesome season brings. And if you don't want to enjoy this greatness? that's ok too.

heck of a season

Wedding season is over. For a few months. Then winter weddings begin. Since graduating from college up until summer 2012, I had been to exactly zero weddings. LA, Mexico, Virginia Beach, and Arizona had something to do with that. However, this summer, I went to a bunch of weddings. Each with varying degrees of awesome-ness. But I've learned some things in these weddings.

One thing that was common in each wedding was this: The wedding hasn't ever, and won't ever, be for the groom in any way. It's all about the bride. At the latest wedding I was at, I made this analogy: The groom is like the king in chess. He is absolutely essential to the game. Without him, you can't play the game. But he doesn't do a whole lot when the game is actually played. There are a lot of moving pieces and he just mostlty sits back and tries not to the get in the way. If he's called on? Sure, he will move, but in a good game, he shouldn't have to move. The real piece to pay attention to is the queen. She has the best moves, everyone loves her, and all other pieces move as the queen sees fit to make her best moves. Pretty indicative of life eh?

Here are some other things I learned from wedding season:

1. Meatballs always taste better at a wedding

2. Friends can show you an awesome side of themselves you or anyone else has never ever seen before

3. Groomsmen get some sweet ties

 Enjoy the offseason everyone!

breaking rules

Many rules are made to be broken. Black and brown fashion, running red lights, running at the pool, closing your eyes during heads up seven up, running with scissors, this list goes on. But there are some rules you should never break. Because there are severe consequences. Stopping on a railroad track, robbing a bank, telling a girl she looks fat...ever, etc.

There is one rule that has some mixed consequences. The caution tape rule. If you've ever seen a police TV drama, if there is caution tape, no one pays attention it. You can have as much "police line: do not enter tape"  as you want, but the 10 year old kid next door, the old man down the street, and anyone who has any sort of relationship to the area being taped off, WILL cross that line. It's in the movies duh, and everything in the movies is true.

I learned this past week that when the University of Utah puts out this caution tape, they mean business. Not because the taped off areas are overly dangerous, just that they put a spell on the area that makes people become morons. I was walking by some steps that had the caution tape around them, and I proceeded to watch 2 people simultaneously fall down the steps. It was scary, then when I could ensure they were ok, I laughed my head off.

Later that day I went into the bathroom, and a stall was taped off. Let's get one thing straight, if I see caution on a bathroom, I immediately know to stay away. Most likely its going to be a war-zone comparable to Afghanistan in there. One person was much braver than I. Well he made a huge mistake. As I saw him on the floor and heard moaning, I knew exactly what to do. Take a picture. Check. Next? I took a peak inside and fortunately his pants were still up. The toilet was broken off the wall and I could only conclude that it was before he took a seat. When I asked him if he was ok, he just laid there and said his pride was hurt. I finished my business and went on my way. But I thought we could do a Tosh.0-esque "picture breakdown"

First, notice the tape, clearly visible, but it might be somehow hard to read because it wasn't horizontal.

Next, take a look at the open stall next to it. Sure it might be smaller, but hey, if I'm choosing between a potentially dangerous stall and a safe one, the safe on wins every time. Maybe that's just me.

Finally, look at the power bar. That is for handicapped people to support them onto the toilet. When he was falling, didn't he see that? My first instinct when falling is to grab something. Maybe he decided his backpack would be a safer bet. Either way, it made for a great picture and ended my day at the U with a smile. And for that, we thank you.

added security

It's October. Haunted houses, watching movies that freak you out, pumpkin everything. Just a few things about this season. I personally really like Halloween  I also do NOT like being scared. Why do I like Halloween? I really don't know, it might due to an awesome childhood where a slow Halloween meant only filling one pillow case up with candy. Maybe it it because of the awesome costumes I had, or being able to stay out later just because there were parties and such happening. Yea, those are definitely the reasons. Not for the scare factor.

Being a grown man, I now have to pretend things don't scare me. Around friends, family or girls, I am simply too old to be scared anymore. I'm glad that wasn't the case when I was 14 and watched 'the ring' then slept at the foot of my parents bed that night. (If you don't believe it, ask my mom.) Don't get me wrong, I watch the scary movies, I can separate real from fake, and usually now I don't get freaked out. I can go thru any haunted house, unless there is a chainsaw guy, in a calm, cool, collected manner. All bets are off when there is a chainsaw guy. I somehow transform into Usain Bolt when I hear the chainsaw coming. But that is neither here nor there.

Well because some people still get scared in movies, or replay "Darkness Falls" in your head when the power goes out in the house and you're all alone, here is a sure fire way to get thru the scary movie and prank season. One word:

Blanket. Blankets are the ultimate protector. When you were little and something scared you at night, what did you do? put your head under the blanket and tried to fall asleep. When does shiz go bad? When they get out of the blanket. But be careful, you have to be ALL the way under the blanket. You leave a leg out and BOOM! You're a goner. For whatever reason,  ghosts, demons of any kind, and especially the boogeyman, can't get you under a blanket. It might be Newtons 4th law. Or maybe his 5th. I can't remember. Either way, having a blanket with you always a safe bet. Just think how much happier movies like "The Ring" "The Exorcist" "Children of the Corn" or "The Grudge" would have been if the characters would have been like Linus from "Charlie Brown." If they always had a blanket, anytime something scary was about to happen, lay down, get ALL the way under the blanket, and keep quiet until the scary thing loses interest, or someone can come save the day. Perfect right? So tonight, if you get tricked into watching a movie that "isn't that scary" make sure you have a blanket on call, and you'll be fine. As for the rest of Halloween? Enjoy the pumpkin spice everything.

let's get digital...digital

Online dating. For the 30-somethings, it's a powerful tool and a great way to meet people who are also socially awkward and didn't figure out dating in their 20's. Us young people laugh at it. I had a friend a few summers ago sign up for it while living in Virginia to meet girls. We had a great time making fun of him. But wait a minute. Should we be so quick to judge? I argue that even us young people are using digital media for meeting new people and doing a loosely defined form of "online dating." Let me explain.

He's a 6'4" Olympic sprinter online

This summer I got instagram. I really like it. I was originally a hater. I've changed. As I've used instagram I've noticed something. Not unique to instagram, but much more obvious there. People date and form relationships on their phones thru this app. It's easy to see who likes who and which guys are interested in which girls. (and vice versa.) All of the sudden, a girl likes your last 15 instagram posts dating back to January.

Next they get on facebook and this person has liked every photo of you since 2008. News flash, unless you are a universal "like-er" (something I will be posting soon) liking photos doesn't increase your odds with the person you are trying to impress. Really all it does is make it more obvious that you are into this person.

After that, comes the most entertaining par: the backlash. Odds are, whoever you are interested in has dated someone before. It's also extremely likely that this person is likeable and the break-up wasn't mutual. (no break-up is mutual fyi) So now their "ex" wants to know who the heck you are. I find this more common with girls than guys, but I've been in a circumstance where a girls "ex" all of the sudden wanted to be my FB friend. So now that the "ex" has you on radar, they start liking your photos, posts, etc. They may not even know you but they want to keep tabs on you to see what is going on with their "one-that-got-away." Its fun to watch from a distance and see this "fr-enemy" relationship form.

Potential online date

Now, do these interactions happen offline? You betcha. Girls "like" everything a guy they are interested says by laughing at stupid jokes, girls or guys pretending they are interested in sports/art/dance/politics/etc even when they don't have a clue about them;,guys being genuinely "interested" in the problems between roommates. Next, the "ex" figures out that you are dating someone and starts "following" you. Asking around about you, maybe even introducing themselves to you and giving you tips about the new relationship you find yourself in.

So before we laugh at those that do online dating, let's take a step back, and realize that us attractive "20-somethings" have a form of online dating. Then after we've realized that, we can get back to laughing at those poor saps on eHarmony. 

nothing mini about it

Minivans. The car no teenager or college student wants to drive. Yet thousands of people of year are infected with the notion that the practicality of a minivan overrules how awful they are. Being a college student, I can see the fuel economy a van provides, I understand that they can carry a million people, but why on earth would you ever want to really drive one? A suburban is only a slight difference and makes you way less of a soccer mom. How are minivans still in existence? Any other SUV does the same thing without looking awful in the process?


There are many alternatives to driving a minivan. Any of them are good alternatives. Today I am here to convince and ensure that anyone who reads this blog will never succumb to the idea that minivans aren't sucky. Here are my reasons:

1. They look like a blind 3rd grader designed a rocket ship using a crayon, and I don't care what you say, the Honda Odyssey is NOT cool  looking. And no, racing stripes wouldn't help.

This looks terrible

2. Once you start driving them, you become a sucky driver. Ricky Bobby, Jeff Gordon, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. could get into a minivan and they would immediately forget how to drive the speed limit, signal before turning, and most likely get rear end someone in the first 30 seconds they started to drive.

This looks good

3. You will for  ever be tagged as "that soccer mom" or worse, "that soccer dad"

4. The van will automatically smell like diapers and be perpetually dirty

5. If you put in a TV guess what, still not cool.

6. Even if you have a wakesetter luxury boat, towing it with a minivan will make you look like a fool.

7. Sliding doors are dumb

So there you go, a few reasons to not own a minivan. Suburbans look so much better. 

ready, set, GO!

Well it’s the start of school. For us lucky students at the U, we started a week ago. For some reason, this year I was NOT excited to get back to school. (might have been the $30,000 of debt I had to go into, or maybe because this is my 5^th year of school, or maybe it’s because it’s not SUU) Either way school is upon us. My baby sister is starting school today so this post is inspired for her, but can apply to everyone.

College, something we pay big bucks for in hopes of making the big bucks. Why do we really do it? I was talking to a friend the other day who questioned his attendance at a university. He thought he should’ve done a trade school or something like that. I was thinking about that and my undergraduate time at SUU. I came to this conclusion: most people don’t go to college purely for an education. In reality, we don’t learn a ton in college. (we do, but forget a good portion of it.) College is bigger than just school. It’s an experience. If I were to do it again, I would always choose a school in a college town. Why? The environment. The people. The crazy stories. The midnight adventures. Not for the teachers or the prestige of the school. I can remember going on a hike at 2 am the night before a final exam my freshman year, 5 years ago, but I can’t tell you what was on my final exam only hours later. College is an experience, education is only part of that.

So if you sleep thru your alarm because you were up too late last night, get a front row seat because that is who you are, or stroll in late and sit in the back on your computer, remember, today is the day of a new beginning. Your college experience is waiting for you. Make it memorable!

My advice? Pull some funny pranks on your friends, ask for some random hottie's number, make a late night Wendy’s run, enjoy the moment instead of worrying about the sweet picture you’re gonna post on instagram, don’t flunk out of college, and be a part of your school. Enjoy the first day of school baby sister!(and everyone else)