winning takes care of everything

Recently there was an ad that Nike made with Tiger Woods. The caption "Winning takes care of everything" Nike took lots of heat from online critics. There has been a ton of discussion about it. Some say "of course winning takes care of everything. Everyone loves a winner!" Others say no amount of success on the field can make up for shortcomings in your personal life. So which is true? Or are they both wrong? Should we care?

I'm here to give you the RIGHT answer. (as if I could give you a wrong answer.) Winning absolutely takes care of everything. Now before all of my readers start texting and emailing me, keep reading.

Winning takes care of everything, for one reason, US! How many athletes do we adore, but in their personal lives, they are crappy people? Anyone remember Kobe? Feels like it wasn't near as bad as Tiger, right? Wrong. He was still cheating on his wife, and cheating is cheating. But how quickly we forget. it was a mere 10 years ago. And now? Kobe is awesome. The "Black Mamba" has his own line of clothing, shoes, commercials,etc. And we, the sports fans, love it. I love everything about Kobe. His swagger, his lack of concern for the media; he is like the last old school player that trash-talks, wants to win more than anything else in the world, and has the skills to back it up. But do those things qualify for forgiveness? Nope. Not even a little bit.

Look at Tiger, he is a superstar once again. #1 in the world. Once hated by everyone for cheating on his supermodel wife, he is now dating Lindsey Vonn. An olympic athlete. She has forgiven him. Has he proved his fidelity in the short 4 years since the scandal? I guess so. Maybe not. But I'll bet his love and acceptance began when he started winning again? Why, because we the fans love a winner. No one cares about losers.

Here are some other winners that have been forgiven:

Ray Lewis - murder
Cam Newton - accepting money as an NCAA athlete
Mike Vick - dog fighting
Justin Gatlin - steroid use in olympics
Ben Roethlesbeger - rape
Rick Pitino - cheated on wife

So now the question is: is this ok? Is your reaction "I can't believe I let winning influence my feelings for athletes!"? How does this happen? It happens because these people aren't our friends, family, colleagues, etc. Our only attachment to them is their performance in their respective sports. We pay attention to them purely for our enjoyment. And I enjoy watching winners. So do you. Unless your a Jazz or Mariners fan. Oh wait...

not gonna lie...

How many times have you heard someone begin a sentence with "I'll be honest..." or "Truth be told..." or any number of prefixes that indicate that only the absolute truth will be delivered? I'll be honest, I'm guilty of it, (see what I did there) and you probably are too.

A friend and myself were talking about this a few weeks ago. It's actually pretty funny and makes no sense when people start their sentences with this. Why begin the sentence claiming you aren't going to lie? Shouldn't the expectation be that whatever comes out of your mouth is truthful? Are we to believe that unless you start your sentence with these phrases, you are lying? I hope not.

Maybe we should all just live in a world like Jim Carrey?

guilty by association

Michelle Obama is meeting with CEO's of business's to discuss business. Her education includes a sociology major (African american studies minor) and a law degree. When I read about her education, I feel like she would be great at consulting minorities about how to become militant activists in order to gain unfair advantages they don't really deserve over others. But has done nothing to earn the right to educate top business leaders on how to do their job. Just because she is the presidents wife, doesn't mean she is smart, or can teach business leaders about business. Heck, the president can't seem to get a clue on how to make business work. check this out.

Guilty by association is collective guilt. It is the controversial collectivist idea that a group of humans can bear guilt above and beyond the guilt of particular members, and hence an individual holds responsibility for what other members of his group have done, even if the person has not done this.


Translation? If you are around other people, you are likely to be lumped in with the dominant traits/actions of the group.

Using the logic that the first lady is using, I propose the following:

1. Soccer moms send husbands to teach the top chefs in the world how to make mac & cheese. 
2. Tom Brady and Wes Welker send their supermodel wives to the front office of any sports franchise and consult owners on how to run the team. They could probably coach a team too. 
3. Oscar Pistorius does world tour on how to prevent domestic violence. 
4. An undeclared freshmen teach classes to tenured professors how to encourage participation in classes. 
5. Metta World Peace gives a seminar to all major religious leaders on anger management and promoting peace. 

Sounds like a great idea? Right?

ain't nobody got time for that

Just in case you haven't seen this yet. You should.

Here's the original. Thank you sweet brown.

#alittlebitofadviceforallyouhashtagusersoutthere

Good luck reading that title. I'll bet you spent 5 minutes just trying to figure that out.

By now, most of you have an instagram, twitter, vine, or some other social media platform that use hashtags. However, each one of these is unique in the way that you are expected to use the hashtag.

Instagram - A fun and easy social media site. Apparently there is an unspoken rule that girls are to use a minimum of 3 hashtags per picture. And if its someones birthday, you are required to use no less than 10. Food, at least 5 are needed to get your point across that you are enjoying the food. But the point is, there is not a goal for creativity, originality, or awesomeness in a hashtag. As many as you need.

Twitter - this is the last great social media frontier. A friend of mine said "brevity is a sign of wit." Another friend said "twitter is cool." Both true statements. Twitter only allows 140 characters for expression. So you have to be brief. Meaning, your hashtags must be witty, funny, clever, or non-existent. Not using a hashtag is also a sign of intelligence in this hashtag-saturated world. Twitter? 2 hashtags MAX! There is no reason to go on and on with hashtags. Why? Because you can't. You don't have room; and because twitter is the place for the clever and the brief to express themselves. Moral of the story, one hashtag should be plenty. On a rare circumstance you can include a second, but only if both are epic.

Facebook - hashtags don't work. Stop putting them there.

Vine - don't have one. But from what I can tell, see instagram advice above.

Oh and one more thing, just like my title, hashtags that are too long are obnoxious. Try using CamelCase. #ThenPeopleCanUnderstandWhatYouHashtagIsActuallySaying

valentine's day

Now that the Super Bowl is over, and the Niner's lost to a Murderer, it's time to look forward. It's February, and love is in the air. Or not. I don't really know. But I do know that it's almost Valentine's Day. 

Valentine's Day is a wildcard. The entire spectrum of emotions can come out on this day dedicated to love.  For some, they only celebrate if they are dating someone. For others, like Schmidt, it's the easier day of the year to hook up with someone. This can be painful for those recently broken up, or painful for those recently in a relationship and not sure if they want to celebrate the day of love, yet. Others avoid the topic completely, others have decided to take it upon themselves to make sure all those around them know they are single and "hate" V-day. Translation: they wish they were dating someone. 

Regardless of where you are in life, you are forced to at least be aware that this day exists and it's up to you how you choose to respond to it. 

I have a solution, let's do like we did in elementary school. 10 cent valentines cards for everyone! Why? Because everyone knows those cards come with a "fun size" candy bar, or some sweethearts candies (the white ones always tasted the best) with it. Bring them to class, and automatically, you have 30 new friends, and maybe even some new valentines. Don't forget your valentines box. If you don't bring your box, you won't get any valentines. duh.

So if you don't know how you want to respond to V-day this year, now you know. And don't quit if you don't have love this year. What if Michael Jordan quit when he didn't make the team? He woulda never made Space Jam. And I love Space Jam. Don't forget to check out my new Valentine's-day-related poll. 

superstition

We all know that athletes prepare for hours, and days, and weeks and months for their games. Train at the highest level so that they can perform and win on gameday. However, any die hard fan also knows that none of that matters. It's all about the gameday traditions that us fans do that determine the outcome of every game.

As the superbowl approaches, I have had an entire season of traditions to ensure my Niners win games.

First tradition - 49ers sheets. These sheets can't be switched out for any others all season. If I sleep on other sheets? Niners lose games. I can't have that on my conscious. This guarantees a good rest the night before a game. For me and for the players. Gotta be well rested.

3 days before the game - Niners gear must be worn. Starts with a hat, and gets better as the week goes on.

2 Days before the game - Niners cap, red Niners shirt.

1 Day before the game - Niners cap, gold Niners shirt.

Gameday - Niners cap, red Niners shirt (see 3 days before the game), Niners jersey on top. Black Nike high-tops. (the high-tops tradition started this year, and not every game.)

Rumor has it, the Niners are undefeated when I wear these on gameday

This combination guarantees a victory. Last time I didn't do this? Niners got lit up by the Seahawks. I blame myself for the loss. I tweeted some of the team that I follow to apologize, and vowed to make sure the rest of the season didn't happen that way. Especially in the playoffs.

I would say that these superstitions were crazy, but like the commercial says, it's only crazy if it doesn't work. And this my friends, works.