will smith may have been right

Today was stake conference. Me, Tim, and Brent were about 5 minutes late, which means we were exiled to the overflow to watch the broadcast. I had no idea this was a multistake broadcast until we got there. Well as we were walking in, all 3 of us noticed a super gorgeous blonde in a red coat. We all looked at each other, and in the unspoken guy language we all were thinking the same thing. daaaaaang!

Well as luck would have it she sat but a couple rows away from us in the overflow. Now if you've ever met me, you know I'm not scared to talk to a girl. But for some reason this time I totally chickened out and didn't say anything to her after the meeting. It might be a good thing that I didn't say anything, because we think she might be a robot. Here's why:

She seems like there isn't a physical flaw. White teeth, perfect hair, great physique. First sign of a robot. Next, as we were leaving the meeting so was she; and she had her truck parked right in front of the church. No girl is that good looking AND drives a truck unless they are married and they're borrowing their husband's. And obviously she's single because she was in the single's ward meeting. Also, the license plate was from Arizona. That means she likes warm weather as opposed to cold. It was at this point that Brent concluded: "Yep definitely a robot!" We all decided that having a robot girlfriend would be cool, for a few years. But inevitably we would have to kill her with great prejudice during the robot apocalypse...

on the wing

Recently one of my close friends has gone through a tough breakup. Long term dating with hopes of marriage were crushed in an instant. Luckily for him, he's got some awesome friends. (cough...like me) We don't want to see him down. When he is not 100%, there's a noticeable void in our fun level. So obviously it was up to us (his friends) to help release this newly liberated animal back into the wild. (the dating scene for those of you not following this)

Currently I have an apple in my eye. No not literally. Just, there's this girl that is pretty great so I don't really see a need to look elsewhere. Well, this puts me on permanent wingman duty for buddy. Which is soooo fun. Anytime he wants to talk a girl, (at a party, bonfire, any social setting) all I do is come over for moral support, occupy her friends, and keep the conversation going long enough so he can score some digits. Then it's all up to him.

Fortunately I know of lots of girls that would love to hang with my buddy. Lately I have been setting up stuff so he can go 'window shopping' if you get what I mean. I think it's a blast. It's super relaxed for me, just hang out with the girls other friends. But wingman-ing is a subtle art. You don't want to be overbearing trying to set them up, but also make sure they don't think you're the one pursuing them. So I've been fine-tuning my skills as of late. Not to be boastful, but things are going great. He's doing just fine; and hopefully this trend continues through the semester, heck maybe even the whole school year!

So for those of you who want some tips on wingman-ing. You're reading the wrong blog. I can't give away my secrets, but I can say: when you're good buddy get a shot at a hottie that you set him up with, you can't help but feel like you were a part of that victory. Even if all you get to do is distract her friend so they can have some 1-on-1 time. It's kinda like when you're favorite team wins a game, and you were there to cheer. That win feels like it was, even if just a little bit, your win too. He's gonna chill with another one this weekend. Put another one in the 'win' column...

99° never boils

Have you ever found someone attractive? (yes I realize you are all saying I'm an idiot for asking that question right now) Have you ever had the courage to ask that person out, only to find something about them that you just couldn't get past? Yea, it happens all the time. Call it shallow, call it commitment issues, call it whatever you like, but it's probably happened to you.

A few weeks ago I had a buddy that was kind of dating this girl. Now this girl is really cute. Were talking an easy H, and possibly even a C. (please click link before continuing.) Now on one occasion a group of friends were hanging out. This was the first time that I'd seen my buddy and said girl; (we'll call her Oprah) spend a significant amount of time together. Now during the night, I saw him get some 1-on-1 time with her. Later I asked him how things went. All he could say was "99° never boils homie!"

Translation: She has a lot going for her, but too many 'turn-offs' to make anything significant happen. In simpler terms: she did too many things that he didn't like and therefore he didn't want to date her. If I were a magic 8-ball and you asked me if those 2 will end up dating, my reply would be "outlook not so good." Don't get me wrong, she's a GREAT girl. Just might not work out with my buddy. This saying is super true. I have met a lot of girls that have lots of things going for them but never get me to reach boiling point.

Now you ladies out there are probably asking yourself 'what do these girls do? I need to do those things so Steve doesn't try dating me." Well you're out of luck, I'm not sharing that list. Not on this occasion at least. But I will take this opportunity to say that each guy is different. There's no telling what you are doing to turn him off until it happens. I will say this tho, if you mention 'steak night' to a normal guy, you might finally reach boiling point. Why? Because who doesn't like steak...