Wednesday, June 20, 2012

act like you're in public

Public transportation. At one point or another, most of us have had to use it. Whether it was trying to get the back seat of the school bus with the big kids, a taxi downtown, or riding a cross country train with Jason Aldean thru the "fly-over states" most have used public transportation.

This summer I am working at the state capitol building. I live in Draper. Those of you weren’t too lazy to click on the link just saw that it’s about a 30 minute drive without traffic. So being a poor college student who doesn’t like to sit in traffic, I opted to take TRAX for my summer commute.

TRAX is really funny to ride. That’s right, I said FUNNY, not fun, it sucks to ride. I guess that’s what you get with public transportation. I’ve been using TRAX for about 3 weeks now and I’ve learned some stuff that I feel I should pass on to others. Like it doesn’t matter where you sit in the morning, but be careful where you sit in the afternoon. After a full day of sweat and stank, you might get too close to a guy that smells like hot garbage and squirrel diarrhea. That will just ruin your whole trip home trying not to throw up. I’ve noticed especially 11-14 year old boys that haven’t learned to use deodorant and homeless people tend to have this smell most often.

You can ride a bike to a TRAX station, but if you do, be careful which car you get on. Some people ride extremely expensive road bikes to the station, and then expect no one else in the world to get on and disturb their bike or get within 3 feet of it. Safer bet…walk to the station.

Sometimes people will bring about 8 bags onto the train. This is a good strategy…sort of. If you have a few bags, you can pile them all on one seat and have the seat to yourself. However, you still look like an idiot and you have to struggle with those bags once you get off.

Don’t sit on the west side of a train in the afternoon. You will be dying in about 30 seconds. The windows are really big so there is no escape from the sun. It’s like being an ant under a magnifying glass, only you don’t burn to death. And trust me; I would know what an ant feels like. One time my dad accidentally shrunk me.

Most important: Don’t sleep past your stop. That sucks, and if you ride the bus all the way hoping it will loop back around, you might end up like this

Thursday, June 14, 2012

big kid basketball

21. This is the greatest version of street ball that exists for white kids that can't jump above the rim. 21 is like And 1, a little bit of emotional warfare, and a whole lot of trash talking. Getting to the hoop is similar to going thru this thing. If you want to know how it’s played, wikipedia it. For us, this is a time to shine. Delta 21 is the big show. It only comes around a couple times a year. So this is bragging rights. A win in Delta is like winning a playoff game. The chance to prove you’re better than your friends. It's a chance to prove that wearing a jersey makes you better, and making outrageous comparisons to professional basketball players is normal. It's a chance to try to get into each other’s head by any means necessary. “You suck” is more common than a china man in Chinatown. You NEVER concede a win. 

21 represents more than just what's on the surface. It's a moment to go back in time and remember the simple pleasures in life. It's about taking a GBC break when Shredded Wheat rolls his ankle/separates his shoulder. Lying to your buddy saying he’s not bleeding when he is. Watching Kacy put on his mad face and go hard to the rim. Being a kid and forgetting that you have a 40-hour week at a desk job ahead of you. 21 my friends, is a big-kid Mecca. Bring it on fellas.