Wednesday, July 20, 2011


does will smith get jiggy with it?

is 50 cent in the club?

do happy dogs wag their tails?

do cats bury their poo?

is the pope catholic?

does a bear s$%# in the woods?

Thursday, July 14, 2011

out of the gates

Have you ever had one of those days where you wake up and everything goes right from the beginning of your day? Well I'm in one right now. You might call this a mini "E" streak. This summer I have been training for a spring triathlon coming up this fall. Because of work, I have to train in the mornings before work. Which was the catalyst to this excellent start of the day I've had. First I went swimming and did pretty well. Made me feel like I might just survive the swim portion of the triathlon. Also the life guard (who was pretty hot) started a conversation with me and guess what, were hanging out this weekend. Next I got home and my roommate was there making pancakes, sausage, fruit smoothies for his G/F and ended up making them for me too! It was awesome. On my way to work, there is a light that I have NEVER made. I think it is perpetually red. Serious, this thing lets about 2 cars thru each green light. Well I made the light. On the way to work the radio station played my favorite third eye blind song. Making the light got me to work early, and guess who was walking in the same time as me? The boss. So now the boss thinks I'm a go-getter and said "Steve, let's go to lunch today." Now, there is no guarantee that this day will be a day full of excellence, but as of right now it looks like the "man" is on vacation and hasn't stuck it to me yet...

Friday, July 8, 2011

money in the bank

Last week I went on a date with a girl. She asked me to actually use her real name,'s Ronni Tallent. (You can facebook her) Anyways, we got on the subject of pick up lines. Now these are my go-to moves, cream o' the crop, so use wisely, you WILL become a heartbreaker with these lines:

Guy: Can you hold this (holding your fist out facing downward)
Girl: Sure
(once she say yes, you hold her hand)
Guy: Yatzee!!! (optional)

If you were a pirate, would you put your parrot on this shoulder (closest shoulder to you) or the other shoulder (shoulder farthest from you forcing you to put your arm around her)

"Dang got some NICE elbows"

"The back of yo' head is ridiculus!"

"I think I'm lost, (holding a map) can you show me how to get to your house?"

"See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute"

"People call me [insert your name], but you can call me tonight!"

"You must be Jamaican, cuz Jamaicin me crazy!"

"How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice!" (Courtesy of Tim Dalene)

These are only a few, but obviously after reading this you know these are MONEY! So again, use them wisely, and try to find your own ones, if you have some good ones comment so I can step my game up too.