Saturday, November 24, 2012

technology: changing our future

Everyone has a smart phone. If you don't have a smart phone, you want one. If you have a smart phone, you can't live without it. They have forever changed the way we live and our interactions with everything. Verizon wireless has brought this truth to light. I'm here to analyze these commercials.

This is "Jane." That weird old lady with 27 cats. Except she isn't that weird, or old. And later on you will see she isn't ugly either. 

Minute 0:01 - apparently there is a magazine for cat lovers to read about all things cats on a monthly basis. 
Minute 0:02 - I guess at some point, even after owning a cat sweater and resigning yourself to the life of a "cat lady" you can still become disgusted with your cat fetish and throw your cat magazine away in disgust. Don't give up Jessica Lamereoux and Brittany Ringham, there's still hope!
Minute 0:05 - someone with no knowledge of football or social skills will randomly download the NFL mobile app and become a packers fan
Minute 0:08-0:16 - watching games on a tiny 4.3 inch screen at a hair salon, the hardware store, and a bus makes you more of a fan than going to games or setting apart time to watch the games on a big screen TV. 
Side Note: since when do men go to the salon and get their hair done the same way as women? And of those men, how many of them are avid football fans that will strike up a conversation with a random stranger at such a salon? 
Minute 0:21 - After becoming slightly knowledgeable of relatively easily-research-facts about a single player on the Packers, you will have tons of friends, a whole new wardrobe, your glasses will be gone (along with all of your cat sweaters), you will be reasonably pretty and you will be at a party with Drew Brees on his only Sunday off during the football season. And you won't be paying attention to him, you will still be watching the Packers on a 4.3 inch screen instead of going inside where I'm sure Drew Brees has been watching the game. Oh and "No one will know the game better than you." Research, going to or any other sports site is a waste of time. NFL mobile is all you will ever need.
Another Note: You are focused on a tiny screen instead of meeting one of them most prolific passers of all-time in NFL history and a great human being off the field. Oh, and you will have 3 guys around you also watching on the same 4.3 inch screen you are looking at instead of the 65 inch LED plasma inside the house. 

So there you have it, smart phones have and will forever change our lives. Pro athletes, big screen TV's, and cat sweaters will all fall by the wayside in comparison with that sweet smart phone and your NFL mobile app. Personally, I'm excited about that future.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

don't hate, celebrate

I'm sitting in the "kilpacondo" right now and the discussion came up that Thanksgiving get's the shaft when is comes to holidays. Which in some respects is true. However, Thanksgiving gets more attention now than it ever has. Just take a look at Facebook, twitter, instagram etc. #nothingbutthankfulnovember. Thanksgiving gets tons of props. Football games are excellent that day. It's a time that everyone makes sure they get home for the family.

The point of this post isn't that Thanksgiving isn't getting overlooked, the reason I am posting this is because Christmas, as it should, gets MOST of the attention during November. Too often people hate on the early recognition of Christmas. Especially putting up lights early and Christmas music on the radio. This absolutely should happen. Christmas is the greatest time of year. Kids look forward to Christmas all year. They wish everyday was Christmas. Adults become less selfish and think of ways to show their love to loved ones. Christmas season brings thoughts of charity, an increase in kindness, bonuses at work, a break from school, snowsportssnowmen, ugly sweaters, awesome decorations, Christmas parties, timeless movies, easy-to-plan-dates, and unbelievable sales on EVERYTHING.

To me, these things sound pretty great. I'm perfectly ok with the best season of the year being extended an extra month. 25 days isn't enough to enjoy all of it's awesome-ness. So for all the haters of Christmas music in November, and the lights at temple square up well before December, here is a solution: relax. Enjoy the spirit that this awesome season brings. And if you don't want to enjoy this greatness? that's ok too.