alpha and omega

Sororities. Heard about em? Yeah, they are always in the cliche teen movies, like it's the cool thing to be in one. All the hottest girls will be your "sisters" and you will get the hottest guys. I'm assuming this must be true somewhere, maybe like Miami, or USC or something, but NOT Cedar City. If you live in Cedar City you probably only ever hear about the "greeks" during their rush week once a semester. After that, there is no way of knowing what they are up to. But you sure as heck can spot em from a mile away. Here's a few tips:

1- Most likely they will be wearing something too small for them showing off more than they should
2-If they are going to a "formal" event around campus chances are you will mistake them for a prostitute
3- Several of them will be together at once, will be obnoxiously loud, even at a concert...i know this is impossible, but if anyone were able to do it, an SUU sorority would be the ones.
4- Probably not that cute, more than likely they will be slightly overweight, but flaunt "it" as if they were Jennifer Aniston in "Just go with it."

Now I assume that these girls are worried that with moving to a new place they will be unable to make new friends and become valued members of the Cedar City community. So they resort they pay for friends (I think they call it 'paying dues') and then they are stuck for life. I used to think this was garbage, but the more I have interacted with them I have realized that these "special spirits" are definitely NOT our best and brightest. I think they are exactly where they should be. I'm glad somewhere can bring them in and maybe spit out a winner or two...