Friday, May 6, 2011

hoarding 101

Hoarding: Buried Alive-the title of the hoarding show on Discovery Channel. This past semester I have had directTV in my house, and as a result, I tend to waste precious hours of my life watching things that have no value. Granted watching LBJ throw down or the Mariners lose game after game is great, sometimes I wish I didn't have TV so I didn't waste as much time with ridiculous shows about digging for gold or making choppers. With that said, my roommate loves this hoarding show. Everytime it's on, (which seems like all day everyday) he is watching it. In case you've never seen it, it's about people that collect crap, junk, etc and don't have the heart to throw it away so they end up with the dirtiest house and a terrible quality of life. Then discovery channel goes in and tries to help them get rid of all that shiz.

Well the reason I mention this is because my roommate is in fact...a hoarder. And I think he gets pointers on how to hoard and keep it discreet from this show. He himself however, is oblivious. He says constantly "I'm so glad I'm not a hoarder, that lifestyle would suck!" If only he knew. Now if he had his own room his hoarding wouldn't be a problem, he could just keep it all in his room, however, since I share a room with him, it's a problem.

Now my roommate (heretofore mentioned as Jerome) loves blankets and bedsheets. I think he has 35 blankets and an uncountable amount of bedsheets (of which he has used on one set of sheets for his bed the ENTIRE semester, which is disgusting in and of itself). From really cool ones that are good to cuddle with, to the really gross ones that I think are manufactured to include smallpox. It takes up the entire top shelf of our closet, a hall closet, and half of the closet in the bathroom. It's crazy! Now Jerome is a great person, but when his blankets use up 1/3 of the room, and then we are left with another 2/3 to divide up for the rest of our stuff, guess what that equals for me...yep for you math whiz's out there, I end up with 1/3 of a room. I keep waiting for the day when it hits him "hey, I'm a lot like these people on this hoarding show I love so much! I should probably get rid of some of the useless crap I have!" Until that day, I will keep waiting and secretly throwing away Jerome's stuff without his knowledge. Let's hope I don't get buried alive

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