My friends have some of the best one-liners ever. I've known this for quite some time. But only recently I started writing them down in order to share them with the world. Today is the first installment of these quotes. These are courtesy of Tim "the Hurricane" Dalene, Brent Springall, Josh Astle, Kevin Higbee, and a few others. Oh and the title...Cory Brown.
Brent (while looking thru the fridge): What am I looking for? Bum. Oh well, mayonnaise will do.
Tim: Do you remember eating graham crackers and milk.
Me: No, I was never poor.
Tim (while waiting at a light for 3 minutes): ok...broken ass light!
Brent: Tim thinks he's such a handyman. Anyone can take apart a car door and not fix it.
Brent: Beards are like boobs, like a man boob.
Tim: I don't wear a Russian hat because I'm a pussy.
Brent: These tights are thin. (track tights) Like "people-can-tell-if-you're-circumcised" thin.
Tim: I feel like it's time to leave Babylon and come back to the fold.
Me: People tend to follow roosters. That's why I wear this hat.
Josh: They're fast...as a group
Brent: The fat on bacon warms your soul. It always clogs your arteries. I think that's what causes the warming of the soul. You're that much closer to Jesus.
Brent: These chips make me feel like a sultan.
Tim: I love this new coffee table. We're much more civilized. Instead of laying on the floor we're sitting on tables. Next thing you know we'll stop dragging our knuckles!
Brent: The Lord always comes first. However, I already got to him today. (getting out of going to FHE)
Brent: My mind has a beef timer...and that my friend, doesn't look done
Lonnie Horlacher: I hate sodoku. It makes me want to die
Brent: If I can help pick up a polio girl, I can help someone move
Tim: If you want a soggy corn dog, you can just go to the gay pride festival
Kevin Higbee: I got these at Ross. Where brotha's dress...for less!
That's what I've written down so far. Don't worry, there will be another installment. This is like a week and a half of quotes.